Hurry Up And Wait

This is a true story.  I originally joined the Navy as a journalist.  The Journalism school was where three branches of the military received their training; the Navy, Marines and Air Force.  My instructor was an Air Force Staff Sgt.  One day he instructed the class to write a short news story.  So that evening I decided to write about the one thing ALL service members agreed about….the military was famous in the enlisted ranks for having you hurry up to get somewhere only to stand around and wait till they could get to you.  It was something we all knew and were well accustomed to.

The next day I handed in my paper and as the Staff Sgt. skimmed the paper he advised me to wait.  He left and soon afterward I had to see a few people before I ended up sitting across from the Marine Colonel.  He didn’t think the paper was funny at all.  In fact I said it was satire, he said, “We call it being a wise ass.”   He then asked me the question in the song.  “You don’t want to be here do ya?”  I stated I did.  He leaned across his desk and looked me straight in the eye and said, “OH NO YOU DON’T!!”

I was no idiot, I knew what that meant….my days of journalism was over.  Luck for me though that he gave me a choice of being a corpsman or a deck ape…..a boatsmen mate or a BM.  Needless to say the idea of being classified as a BM was repulsive…..reminded me of my wife asking the kids if they needed to take a BM….a poop in normal vernacular.

So I became a corpsman and looking back I probably would have written something that was taboo and end up in the brig.  Regardless the song is a funny reminder of how serious the military can be about some not so serious issues.