Why Did You Hit Me So Hard

This song is a true story.  I was only 16 at the time.  I attended a basketball game with a couple of friends from school.  After the game ended I was able to catch a ride with one of my friends and her mom.  I thought I was going to get a ride home but to my surprise her mom dropped me off at the edge of town.  I can’t blame her, since I lived 7 miles or more from town and it was late.  So I thanked her for the ride and started my walk toward home.  I tried to hitch hike, but I figured it would be a cold day in hell before I would catch one.  It was a long, dark walk home.  If 5 cars passed me that night it would have been a miracle.  Half way home I gave up the idea of hitch hiking anyway.

I finally made it home at 11:30.  I no sooner closed the door to behind me when my father came out of the dark yelling, “Where the hell have you been?”   I barely got a word out when his 6’2″, 250 lb frame raised its arm and began to backhand my face and head over and over and over again.  He hit me around one wall, then another, and another.  I felt like a punching bag.  His backhand was huge, heavy and it hurt.  I felt helpless and confused.  In my mind I was thinking, “What the hell is he hitting me for?  I just walked 7 miles.  There wasn’t any phones and there sure as hell wasn’t any traffic to catch a ride with.  I was at a basketball game, not doing drugs or robbing a bank for crying out loud. ”  Plus he didn’t even want to hear why I was late…not that I could talk with that hand smashing my head and face over and over.

He finally stopped.  I was getting up off the floor.  All I could think of was I had to get the hell out and never come back because I was afraid if I didn’t he’d end up killing me.  So I yelled I’ll be leaving in the morning.  He walked off and closed the door to his bedroom and said nothing.  The next morning I packed my clothes and left.  I said nothing and never went back.  That night and many nights afterwards, I slept outside on the ground somewhere near town…..but no pillow, no blanket…just the clothes on my back.  I was homeless but alive……and I never went back.